Starcraft Outakes IV
by DarkPaladin
Summary: The twisted mind of DarkPaladin has returned, and alongside it came some more Outakes!!! READ THE BOTTOM WHEN YOUR FINISHED!!! R&R PLEASE!! And if you review, also insert your gender


Starcraft Outakes 4

I'm back again!!! And I hope not for the last time!!! It took me a 

long time to even remember to send this, and I hope you all like it!!

Starcraft Outakes 4

By: DarkPaladin

||Scene 25: The Ambiguously Gay duo||

(Scene takes place right before 'Dylerion Shipyard' A couple of 

Medics, Civilians and Ghosts are standing aside Samir Duran, who is 

telling some sort of story)

Director- "All right, guys, we have all the platforms set up and ready 

to go, so get to your places and round up the...Where's Edmund, Dugalle 

and Alexi?

Duran- "(shakes head) I have no clue, we've been waiting for Dugalle 

and Alexi for a half hour now. We just sent Edmund to find them..."

(As if on cue, Edmund comes on screen, completely green in the face)

Duran- "(Raises eyebrow) What's the matter with you?"

Edmund- "(Looks as if he's trying to keep his lunch down) Well...I 

found Alexi...and...erp!!...Dugalle..."

Duran- "Yeah..."

Edmund- "I found...them...in...Dugalle's...dressing 

room...doing...Erp!!"

(Edmund runs off screen)

Director- "What were they doing?"

Duran- "Uhhh...Do we really need to know what they were doing?"

(Suddenly, Dugalle, Alexi and somebody else enters room. Dugalle is in 

a tight, purple uniform. Alexi is wearing a school girl's uniform. 

The third character was a clown...)

Duran- "(Sees trio) Uhhh...I'm gonna find Sarah right now..."

(Runs off screen)

Director- "Ummmm...Alexi? Dugalle? Your not in the right 

costumes...and who's that?"

Alexi- "(incredibly gay voice) Ohhhhh, we forgot our costumes, mista 

Director cutey pie, and this is our slave, Killer Klown."

(Killer Klown whimpers. Director sweatdrops)

((((((I apologize to any of homosexuals that read this, I'm not 

homophobic, I just get kind of scared when people like this show 

up)))))

||Scene 26: Zergling Flu||

(Scene is during one of the Melee missions where all eight teams are 

all Zerg. Thousands of Zerglings are running around. (So many that our 

poor deluted fool couldn't count them all) Greens, reds, violets, and 

oranges flowed together in a massive battle for victory.)

Director- "(Walks up with Microphone) BREAK TIME EVERYBODY!!! BREAK 

TIME!!!"

(Every single Zergling cheers and starts to dash out of the one exit that leads to the outside (it's a pretty big exit). Meanwhile, some

terran characters are standing there watching them go by)

Marine- "This is really messing with my head."

Firebat- "Yeah, I feel like a rainbow's passing by us."

Marine- "Yeah, Reds, Oranges, Yellows, Blues, Grays, 

Browns...waitaminute, we don't have gray!!!"

(The gray Zergling somehow travels over to the Marine and Firebat. It 

coughs a bit as it's face is turning green.)

Marine- "We have green, red, yellow, orange, white, even teal, but we 

don't have gray, who the hell are you!?"

Gray Zergling- "(Coughs) Sowwy, I've been sick..."

(Marine and Firebat sweatdrop.)

||Scene 27: Raynor's Trick)

(Scene is during a break (that means you choose when) Raynor, Duran, 

Artanis and Tassadar are standing around, nearby a kennel.)

Artanis- "...By the way, what's in this Kennel anyways?"

Raynor- "Oh, this? This is a kennel for all the savage Hydralisks..."

Duran- "I thought that their weren't any savage Zerg."

Raynor- "There are, actually, we just use them when we need Zerg to 

run around and such. Here, let me show you..."

(Raynor hops into the kennel and stroles over to one of the bars. A 

Hydralisk pops its head out and tries to snap at Raynor, but Jim is to 

far away.)

Raynor- "See? Savage, man!! But you can scare them away, just take a 

big stick..." (holds up a stick with his left hand and starts to smack 

the bars with it, Hydralisk pops its head back into cage.) "See? 

That's all there is to it!!"

(Hydralisk pops its head out again and rips Raynor's left hand off. 

Raynor screams as he holds the stump that was once his hand as blood 

starts to pour out of it. Artanis and Duran faint. Tassadar's 

laughing his butt off. Raynor starts laughing too.)

Tassadar- "I have to admit. That's an old one by you, Jim, but it's 

still funny to watch."

Raynor- "Jeez, I didn't think they would faint though" (pulls out 

stumb to reveal his hand underneath. Turns towards Hydralisk) "Thanks, 

Bubba, I owe ya one!!"

Bubba- "(New Jersey accent) No Prob, Jim. It's fun messing with da 

new boys."

||Scene 28: Duran's Obsession, Part 1||

(Scene takes place...well...anytime that Duran was actually hired for 

the job. Raynor, Inf. Kerrigan, Tassadar, and Sophia (Tassadar's date 

in 'More Outakes the Merrier') are standing around drinking coffee. 

Suddenly 'Sarah' Kerrigan is walking into the room with Duran literally 

attached to her leg. The other four raise the eyebrows (eyeridges) 

simultaneously.)

Duran- "(Low enough for a whisper, but still loud) Oh, Sarah, you're 

my hopes, my dreams, my fantasies, I love you so much. Please go out 

with me? Can you please go out with me? We'll have a good time, I 

swear...(continues to ramble)"

Raynor- "What's up with him?"

Inf. Kerrigan- "Isn't it obvious, he's got the hots for my big 

sister!! Oh, this is so wonderful!! Finally my sister will have a 

boyfriend!!"

  1. Kerrigan- "(glaring) Shut up..."

Tassadar- "Looks more like an obsession to me..."

Sophia- "Why do you say that? I think it's cute..."

Tassadar- "Cute isn't the word for it!!"

Sophia- "Then explain why!!"

Tassadar- "Because the guy is in his thirties!!"

(Dead silence from the group, with the exception of Duran's rambling. 

S. Kerrigan shudders as she walks (more like limps) away.)

Inf. Kerrigan- "Well, at least I don't have an obsessive guy trying to 

grab on to me every chance he got."

Tassadar- "You have Raynor..."

Inf. Kerrigan- "Oh yeah, I forgot. He's just as bad!!"

Raynor- "Hey!!!"

||Scene 29: Duran's Obsession, Part 2||

(Scene takes place when filming is over for the day. Sarah Kerrigan is walking along, trying to find Duran (much to her dismay) for a small party that's going on tonight. She's about to open the door when she hears something playing inside.)

  1. Kerrigan- "He's playing a video game?"

(S. Kerrigan blinks, then opens the door to find Duran, sitting on the floor and playing a Super Nintendo (Yeah, I know it's old, but do I care!?) S. Kerrigan walks up to the TV to find that he's playing Super Mario Bros. However, instead of seeing Mario on the screen, S. Kerrigan sees a Chibi version of Duran fighting. Worse yet, she found that the person that's playing the Princess is none other than her!!)

S. Kerrigan- "(Blinks) Ummmm...Duran...What's this!?"

Duran- "(Not noticing who it is) Duke programmed it for me, this is 

how I wanted it!!"

S. Kerrigan- "(sighs) First you hold on to my leg, then you do something like this. (screams) WHAT NEXT!? A DOZEN PICTURES AND CANDLELIGHT IN YOUR CLOSET!?!?!"

Duran- "All ready have th...(looks up to see Sarah) ...Oh shit..."

((((Thanx Ike for the idea!!))))

||Scene 30: Who Spiked the EggNog!!||

Note: Ss = Slurred speech

(Scene takes place durning a Chrismas party with the Blizzard CREW. Characters of Diablo, Warcraft, and Starcraft are all there.)

S. Kerrigan- "(Ss) Y'know...Durannnnn, you loooook pretty cute when you don't open your mouth..."

Duran- "Really?"

S. Kerrigan- "(Ss) No...not really..."

(other part of room. Inf. Kerrigan is dancing with Raynor, but seems 

to be a bit, unbalanced. Inf. Kerrigan falls, but tries to grip onto 

Raynor's arm. However, Raynor was unbalanced and falls on top Inf. 

Kerrigan. Raynor tries to get up as did Inf. Kerrigan, but she falls 

over again and both fall into a heep, again.)

Raynor- "(Ss) My, Kerrigan, your so...soft..."

(Another part of room. Duke is trying to tell Alexi and Dugalle 

something but his speech is too slurred to be understandable.)

Dugalle- "(Ss) What's he saying?"

Alexi- "(Ss) I think he said he wants to go to our room for some 'quality time.'"

Dugalle- "(Ss) Well then, we should get going!!"

(Alexi and Dugalle grab Duke and headed off to their trailor. 

Meanwhile, Tassadar and Diablo are sitting on the floor in the middle 

of the room)

Tassadar&Diablo- "NOBODY KNOWS HOW *hiccup!* DRY WE ARE...NOBODY *hiccup!* HOW DRY WE *hiccup!* ARE!!!"

(Orc Grunts, Zealots, and Infested Terrans are all dancing to the song 

Diablo and Tassadar are singing. Suddenly the Director runs into the 

room)

Director- "What the hell is going on here!?!"

(Everybody in the room, replies with a shrug, then they resume their party. A marine that was behind the Director walks over to the drink bowl and sniffs it)

Marine- "HEY!!! WHO SPIKED THE EGGNOG!?"

||Scene 31: Inf. Kerrigan, YOU SAVED ME!!|| 

(Scene takes place sometime during the 'Brood War' segment. Inf. 

Kerrigan, Raynor, Duran, and Tassadar are all standing around (I seem 

to make them do that to much) all talking about something or other. 

Actually it's more like Duran's talking about S. Kerrigan, while Inf. 

Kerrigan, Raynor, and Tassadar are trying to ignore him. Dejected, 

Duran walks away.)

Tassadar- "Hey, do you remember the time when Sarah found out about 

Duran's 'shrine' of her?"

Raynor- "If I recall, we found Duran hanging off of one of the stage 

lights with no form of clothing on."

Inf. Kerrigan- "Too bad Duran liked the part of being 'stripped.' "

(All three chuckle, then suddenly hear a scream from a nearby hallway. 

The trio turns around to find a Valkyrie pilot running, behind her was 

Edmund Duke and his so called 'Squad' running after her.)

Inf. Kerrigan- "Oh, God. The Perverts found another victim."

(The girl runs behind Tassadar and Raynor as the 'Squad' stops right in 

front of them)

Duke- "C'mon, missy, we ain't gonna hurt ya, right boys?"

('Squad' cheers)

Duke- "Just come wit us, we'll all show ya a good time!!"

(Inf. Kerrigan steps out)

Inf. Kerrigan- "And what if she doesn't want to go?"

Duke- "She wants it, she's just play'in hard ta get!!"

Raynor- "(To Kerrigan) You think you need help?"

Inf. Kerrigan- "Na, I can take care of them."

(Inf. Kerrigan tackles 'Squad' and throws each member into the hallway 

again)

Duke- "(being thrown) We're blasting off again!!!"

Inf. Kerrigan- "(wipes hands) No sweat!!"

Valkyrie- "(blushing heavily) MY HERO!!"

Inf. Kerrigan- "Ehh?"

(Valkyrie pilot gives Inf. Kerrigan a deep throated kiss)

Raynor&Tassadar- O.o

(Valkyrie pilot lets go of Inf. Kerrigan, hands her a note, then runs 

off.)

Inf. Kerrigan- "(looking at note) Here's my phone number..."

Tassadar- ".........Well, that was amusing!!!"

Raynor- "(sweatdrop on head) ..........................."

Inf. Kerrigan- "I'm not gay, though..."

Raynor- "I sure hope not!!"

Tassadar- "You don't have to be gay to do stuff like that wink wink"

(Kerrigan growls as she starts to repeatedly smash Tassadar's head in with an Anime' mallet)

Oh, and I am starting a small project. It's a Slayers fic, sort of an 

RPG kind of thing, though it is just a story. THE FIRST EIGHT PEOPLE 

THAT REVIEW HAVE A VERY LARGE CHANCE TO BECOME A CHARACTER FOR THIS 

SLAYERS FIC!! If you want to be a part of this, please state a name 

for your character, what your character would most likely be (Ex: 

Ryuuzoku/Dragon, Human, Angel, Mazoku) and what hair/eye color (Since 

we all know that in Anime hair and eye color can be any color of the 

rainbow). Thank you for your time.


End file.
